The Art of the Wallet Shuffle

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If I am not mistaken, someone asked me a while back if there are any unwritten rules as to who should pay in a situation where a bunch of people were to go either out for dinner or even out for drinks. Reason behind this is that if you have ask people around, each and every one of y'all will have a different theory as to how you would engage this particular scenario. Considering the fact that there are NO set rules in particular on this matter, I brought it upon myself as to how I would look into this particular predicament.

In general we all know that there are several situations where a person would be stuck in and most of the time, your action would vary in who exactly should be paying the bills. To help me break down the categories, I've enlisted my room mascot, SpikyKitten to make this a little interesting!

Tackling the most sensitive issue first, who exactly should pay on a date? I know everyone has a lot of theories here and each with its own, if not weird, reasoning on why that person should pay.

ON A FIRST DATE I would think that its always courteous for the guy to pay as its always the gentlemanly way of doing so. Most of the situation it would be the guy that would have asked the girl out for dinner and it is only natural for you to cap the night of by picking up the bill. Not only would that leave the impression that you want the girl to have on you but also the gratitude would be fruitful for later scenarios.

Then again, you ladies are not entirely out of the woods. Some would assume that just because that the guy picked up the bill the first couple of times around, means that it would give her the reason not to bring a single penny out at all during dates. See the way how I do it with Miss Ave T is that we worked out an understanding that we share the cost of our dates, regardless who puts in more than the other (if possible the guy of course). This way personally I believe we would at least have the sheer respect of contributing on each other and not take advantage of the other party. However I would also like to put it out that if possible the guy should try to pick up the bill more often as it does show some form of chivalry on your side.

As much as you would not want to believe this, sometimes this becomes a major problem as well. I've scene situations where when a bunch of friends go out, there are some that assume one of them would pick up the bill for the rest.

General rule : when you are out with your mates, ALWAYS GO DUTCH. Pay for what you eat and stay that way. On this note, I'd even go on a limb to say avoid sharing the bill and paying an equal amount for each of the people there. Reason is that in this situation there will always be that one person that order the steak, fries and little bit of mash potatoes and gravy on the side while someone, who just ordered a salad, would have to pay that fellas share of the food, which does cause some some problems.

However there are some situation where someone would offer to pay for the meals and this is where it becomes critical. I honestly believe that the other person would at least try to attempt and pay for the meal, even if he knows that the person is going to pick up the bill. This act, also known as the Wallet Shuffle at least shows the common courtesy of appreciating the person's generosity. Usually this can also be followed with you offering to pay the next bill.

Here's the general scenario : everyone's getting excited coz' its the weekend and you're going out clubbing. The music is blasting and this is when a person tends to get a little bit more generous with their cash. Now the question is, would it be alright for some to expect others to pay for them while going out clubbing? Quite honestly I have no specific rule on this for myself because most of the time I don't mind doing the paying but I am always on check if there are those who are out to literally "gold dig" for some to pay for them while they are out.

For this one, I'll let you readers tell me what is the necessary action.

In conclusion, I have been sticking on to this rule so far and fortunately I have yet to have any problems with situations like this so far. Its always good to have at least some courtesy on this matters as the last thing you want are monetary issues that ruins a good day out or yourselves too obsessed on money which in some scenarios would actually effect the way you act around people.

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  1. This is where we see how people react especially in going out in groups. Some will avoid paying, in fact I have some friends who actually had the nerve to say, "you pay first, pay you back later" and never pay back after.

    The perfect scenario in my opinion would be for one to pay for all, and immediately after that we pay him back according to our portions when out of the restaurant. I emphasized the "out" of restaurant part. I dont think it looks nice to be handing wads of cash back and forth "in" the restaurant itself. Just doesnt look cool.

    On dates, normally I will pick up the bill, i guess chivalry comes into play there.