My Girlfriend's Best Friend

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On one look, I know that this would sound like a title of a letter that people would usually send in to those seedy men's magazine, partaking stories of sexy escapades that people would usually only dream about. Sadly, this isn't one of them.

In fact that this would be those stories that would just make your blood boil.


For those of you who don't know much about me, I come from a mixed marriage family background. My parents are from a Malay and Kadazan based heritage and throughout my life I've seen, heard and even been a victim of some form of racial comments made on myself and throughout the years, I've held my grounds against these comments, making sure that none of this will ever effect me.

Fast forward many years later, I have been with an amazing woman of my dreams for more than a year now and to be honest, there are times that it can be hard. Solely because we are both from a different race.


Don't get me wrong that I know this was going to be a gargantuan sized fight to the end for the both of us to stay together and throughout those times, we have tried and tried as hard as we can to make sure that we get everything right in our relationship. All the drama, all the pain, we highlighted and overcame almost all of the issues we need for this fight. All of them, which obviously include our best friends.

You see as much as she tries to get my best friends to accept her (and doing a stand up job at it, I might add), I do the same for her. I identified all her good friends, those who mattered to her and really get to know her. I'm not saying just getting to know these people, but I took every aspect of her friends that I can find and really get to know the people that mattered to her the most. My grounds of doing so is simple, I want them to understand that I appreciate the fact that these people have been so good to her and I am going to do the same to them.

All was well, except for one.

I found out earlier today, that after all this time of me making an effort to do the right thing, this particular person, who has played a large role in many years of her life, thinks of me as nothing more than a dirty rat that has no business to be around her and all I am doing is just to corrupt her mind and ruin her life. I am nothing more than a piece of trash that is ready to be hated, in front of her eyes.

And all this is justified with nothing else apart from the fact I am a man of a different race.

I'm never one to name any names on posts like this as I do appreciate the dignity of a person, regardless what cruel things that person might have done and for the benefit of my own integrity, this would not be any different.

[Even animals won't judge against color. And we are the ones who are smarter?]

What burns me deep inside is not much about what is said to me but rather the justification that makes her think that way. I would understand if I was physically abusing her. I would understand if I would control her to be a person that she is not. I would understand if I was nasty against those who are close to her. I would even understand if I was a person that has no respect whatsoever to her right as a woman.

Problem is, I am none of that.

On the sole basis that by doing any of that, I go against the very principle that I base myself from. I grew up looking at my dad, who has never touched my mother in any bad way and has taken every ounce of his strength just to make sure that we would have a life better than his own when he was in my age. I grew up watching my dad allowing my mom to become whatever she wants to be and in return, we gave him the respect that he deserves. I grew up knowing that this is the right way a person should act and until today, I believe I have done just that.

Yet here I am judged against nothing else except for the color of my skin and now I am painted as if I am a disease that needs to be avoided. Fact of the matter is that for now, I can do nothing but be patient and wait, on the simple grounds that I believe there is a higher power that would return the favor to this person.

And if you are reading this, I hope that you will get what you deserve for being unfair to those that tries their hardest to be happy. I will assure you that I will not mention your name here. But I will call you with a name that would suit you perfectly.

A Racist

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26 comments:

  1. Why is she even a friend of your girlfriend? Racist? What age is that already. gosh

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  2. this post applies to y'all racists out there! Good one.

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  3. awww~ hang on there bro. I'm sure your love would persist. Some people just really don't get it.

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  4. I used to date a handsome guy back in high school. Indian guy. And you know his friends call me "CINA". I regret so much not to defend myself back then. All i can say is strong bro! You both are so loving together. Have the lookalike face of a couple. Teehee~

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  5. wow, it really has become to such extend hasnt it. but i believe that this kind of stereotyping was instilled by a generation of idiots into the minds of the young and therefore it happens in this day and age.

    but fret not, this is part of the tribulations of life and love.

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  7. How old is she? 13?

    And btw, I think you got her name wrong. It is supposed to spell out B.I.T.C.H. Yeah, now that's more like it.

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  8. hmm, its about you two in the end isn't it. Try to get your loved one to understand that her friend has a screwed up wrong opinion which I know she does. You are under no obligation to get that girl to like you now, she's only a friend, not her family.

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  9. This is indeed a disappointment to hear that one of Kak Suwen’s friend is acting like this.. People should understand that we are living in a mixed culture society. Even I have had my share of being with someone from a different race before and I know how it feels to be hated for no reason. This is a very childish and immature display from one of her friends. If that person is really a true friend than that person should understand that love is not something that can be judge by race. Its ok abang. All you have to do is ignore all the haters cause just like you told me, haters won’t gain anything in life. just don’t give a damn about what people say . they can judge you and kak Suwen all they want but remember that your love for Kak Suwen is too strong for it to be destroyed, especially if its only words. It’s never about the race it’s about how much you care for her. Don’t give up. And to you and Kak Suwen
    No matter what happened my love for the both of you still remains forever..=D
    -Cheers- “Shazz”

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  10. love only make us multiply, not divide. :)

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  11. I'm glad you used your blog to rant, and not to shame.

    Best thing you can do is not stoop to her level. Much respect for that.

    Sorry you're having a hard time, bro, hang in there and I hope things get better for you soon.

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  12. Actually I'm not surprised that such people still exist in the world. coming from a mixed parentage as well, I often get the question 'why are you fair when u r indian???' My first answer is 'is it a crime to be fair?' or which rules says that u've got to be dark if u r indian... Some people are just immature and no matter what you do to satisfy them, they won't appreciate you... It's just their nature and we have to live with it... positive + negative = neutral :P

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  13. you'd be surprise how many of them are there out there...

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  14. thanks babe!

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  15. thank you so much for your support! hopefully things would improve

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  16. thanks so much for sharing your story. i know its never easy to go through the same thing as well...

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  17. my question is that will there be hope for the cycle to churn out that stereotype in the minds of generations to come?

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  18. best. comment. ever! never fail to impress!

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  19. very true, i suppose it is my own ego that is trying to make everyone happy. but i cant.

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  20. thanks for the support bro

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  21. very true!

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  22. indeed it is! :D

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  23. coming from you, this is a huge support! thanks so much for those kind words.

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  24. I guess many of us would have to face these stories in our lives and each time it never makes it any easier or better.

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  25. Didn't read the whole thing but you both looked like chinks to me :)

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