On one look, I know that this would sound like a title of a letter that people would usually send in to those seedy men's magazine, partaking stories of sexy escapades that people would usually only dream about. Sadly, this isn't one of them.
In fact that this would be those stories that would just make your blood boil.
For those of you who don't know much about me, I come from a mixed marriage family background. My parents are from a Malay and Kadazan based heritage and throughout my life I've seen, heard and even been a victim of some form of racial comments made on myself and throughout the years, I've held my grounds against these comments, making sure that none of this will ever effect me.
Fast forward many years later, I have been with an amazing woman of my dreams for more than a year now and to be honest, there are times that it can be hard. Solely because we are both from a different race.
Don't get me wrong that I know this was going to be a gargantuan sized fight to the end for the both of us to stay together and throughout those times, we have tried and tried as hard as we can to make sure that we get everything right in our relationship. All the drama, all the pain, we highlighted and overcame almost all of the issues we need for this fight. All of them, which obviously include our best friends.
You see as much as she tries to get my best friends to accept her (and doing a stand up job at it, I might add), I do the same for her. I identified all her good friends, those who mattered to her and really get to know her. I'm not saying just getting to know these people, but I took every aspect of her friends that I can find and really get to know the people that mattered to her the most. My grounds of doing so is simple, I want them to understand that I appreciate the fact that these people have been so good to her and I am going to do the same to them.
All was well, except for one.
I found out earlier today, that after all this time of me making an effort to do the right thing, this particular person, who has played a large role in many years of her life, thinks of me as nothing more than a dirty rat that has no business to be around her and all I am doing is just to corrupt her mind and ruin her life. I am nothing more than a piece of trash that is ready to be hated, in front of her eyes.
And all this is justified with nothing else apart from the fact I am a man of a different race.
I'm never one to name any names on posts like this as I do appreciate the dignity of a person, regardless what cruel things that person might have done and for the benefit of my own integrity, this would not be any different.
[Even animals won't judge against color. And we are the ones who are smarter?]
What burns me deep inside is not much about what is said to me but rather the justification that makes her think that way. I would understand if I was physically abusing her. I would understand if I would control her to be a person that she is not. I would understand if I was nasty against those who are close to her. I would even understand if I was a person that has no respect whatsoever to her right as a woman.
Problem is, I am none of that.
On the sole basis that by doing any of that, I go against the very principle that I base myself from. I grew up looking at my dad, who has never touched my mother in any bad way and has taken every ounce of his strength just to make sure that we would have a life better than his own when he was in my age. I grew up watching my dad allowing my mom to become whatever she wants to be and in return, we gave him the respect that he deserves. I grew up knowing that this is the right way a person should act and until today, I believe I have done just that.
Yet here I am judged against nothing else except for the color of my skin and now I am painted as if I am a disease that needs to be avoided. Fact of the matter is that for now, I can do nothing but be patient and wait, on the simple grounds that I believe there is a higher power that would return the favor to this person.
And if you are reading this, I hope that you will get what you deserve for being unfair to those that tries their hardest to be happy. I will assure you that I will not mention your name here. But I will call you with a name that would suit you perfectly.